Son, wait, let's put the patriarch's baggage aside...

Taylor and I just had a serious conversation about technology before he fell asleep. I gifted him an iPad and YouTube videos that demonstrate toys/games (parents know) is all he's interested in.

***

I said I was tired (I've had a terrible headache - I think due to staring at my work computer for a million hours a week) and out of nowhere he said, "tomorrow I'm not using any technology." .

We started talking about addiction (had to define it, talked about sugar, cigarettes, technology, etc.) then I brought up the example of parents at the park with their kids but completely ignoring them and being on their phones. He said I'm the only person who doesn't do that and it's strange that that is the case. I let him know it's not easy and I still think I can be better with giving him my full attention and not letting the phone get in the way of our interactions.

Anyways, to make a long reflection longer, we agreed that we'd hold each other accountable to stay off of our screens and be more engaged with each other. So we went back and forth with ideas and we have some picture drawing, bookmark making, card writing, etc. in place and I can't wait! He said something like, "you know what I realized? There's more things to do without technology than to do with technology!"

He went on to say, "Oh, I'm going to tell you to get off your phone when I see you."

And I thanked him for it.

***

In reflecting, I'm very much interested in the ways that fathers are taught to act as if they are king of the family, without help or plain old input from others in the family.

It seems pretty colonial - patriarchal - in that it centers the man solely due to his position and gender identity, without regard for the value that other folks bring. The idea that ideas are not welcomed is a very strong tool to control people and within the domestic space, we see it's toxicity by disempowered family members who have great insight and are living frustrated lives due to the patriarch's insecurities.

This is an instance where I just put my own baggage aside for a second to let something else happen. Now to see what comes of it!

Carlos iro Burgos